10 Sparkling Tips For More Confidence | Pinay.com
Do you have good looks but can’t win people over? Are you smart but can’t get people to notice you or your work? Do you know your stuff but can’t get people to care? What ingredient is it that you’re missing then?
Many people mistakingly think that they need to be the funniest, wittiest, prettiest, smartest people in a room to be attractive or confident. Not necessarily. Here are 10 tips that help increase your confidence and attractiveness in order to connect and engage people:
- Think positive. Ever heard of the term “She has dark clouds over her”? Well you want brightness surrounding you because that’s attractive. People can sense positive attitudes the same way they can sense sadness, anger or happiness. Take stock of your positive qualities. Rid or reduce negative thoughts and repeat the positive ones inside your head all the time. That way you feel good and have a can-do attitude.
- Smile. It’s an easy confidence booster. When you smile often and easily, it creates long-term feelings of self-confidence. Studies have shown that using the smiling muscles of our face triggers a positive feedback loop to the brain and creates positive feelings. Even when you aren’t feeling so great, the smiling action releases feel-good chemicals, i.e., endorphins and serotonin, in the body. Everyday happiness and confidence can actually result from smiling.
- Dress decently. Looks aren’t everything but it sure helps to look decent or even nice-to-look-at when meeting people. If you’ve been neglecting your appearance and you want to increase your confidence and attractiveness, then it’s time to put care into your appearance. Untidy, dirty clothing can be a turn-off. If you’re not into the latest trends, just keep your clothes and hair neat and tidy. If you’re into style and buffing up your appearance then you’re on a good start.
- Smell clean. Realize the power of the olfactory experience. Looking decent is not enough if you smell bad. Both stinky and overpowering perfume smells are a turn-off. Practice good hygiene, use deodorant and don’t overdue the cologne. Smelling pleasant is a subtle reason why other people may enjoy being around you. (Of course, if you’re running a marathon that’s a set of different circumstances then a party or the office.) Otherwise strong, unpleasant smells trigger urges to turn and get far away, fast. A clean and fresh smelling you allows others’ senses to open up, freely breathe and relax around you.
- Have straight, relaxed posture because it gives off an impression of ease and confidence. Slouching and slumping is body language that gives off a message of timidness and fearfulness and definitely doesn’t exude confidence. Also watch out for standing or sitting up ramrod straight because it might come off as being uptight and wound up.
- Make eye contact. Make a connection through the eyes, the “windows of the soul”. Hold people’s gaze when talking with them. Your listening skills will be strengthened and the eye contact is a subtle, but effective way to engage people. If they can’t hold your gaze, that’s okay.—they might be working on their confidence factor, too.
- Breathe freely and easily. Consciously change your breathing to regular full breaths to allow the flow of oxygen throughout your body and brain. People who have easy breathing exude an air of calm and confidence.
- Be passionate. Believe in yourself and what you’re doing. You’re enthusiasm and passion will be contagious and that’s attractive and confident.
- Be sincere. Most people have an inner radar detector that can tell them when something is off, when someone is faking it and being insincere. When you are a sincere person you will exude trustworthiness and that is another way to connect and be attractive.
- Be happy for others. If you support other people’s good qualities and successes then people feel seen and affirmed. That’s powerful. If you don’t really care about people then people won’t care for you either. Giving people a subtle take-away like encouragement makes them feel good and that being around you feels good. Making a connection with people this way is more engaging than saying clever, witty things. The people you root for will root for you too. It’s as simple as that.
Sometimes we take some of the simplest of these steps for granted. So get back into these positive habits or take on some new ones to increase your confidence and attractiveness. And there you go! Try these things out and let me know if it works for you. Please share any other tips you practice to increase confidence.
Originally published Mar 6, 2015
Omehra is also known as Inday Perla, Perla Daly, BagongPinay and NewFilipina.
She has been publishing websites to empower Filipinos for 20 years. More about her art, blogs, events, publishing and organizations at BagongPinay.