8 Sparkling Positive Tips to Handle Negativity
As a young girl, I started out my days with a positive and happy disposition. Things could get very tough and painful when I was young.
But just because I’m positive, doesn’t mean that negative things don’t get me down. Negative events, words, and people can still affect me but I’ve gotten better at shielding myself from the negative energy or recovering quickly after a negative encounter. You too can learn to do the same.
Here are 8 tips on how to maintain your positive disposition even when things get negative:
1. Don’t take things personally.
2. Don’t react negatively.
3. Enlighten the situation.
4. Establish boundaries.
5. Say a blessing or prayer.
6. Avoid negative people.
7. Stay centered by practicing meditation.
8. Bonus tip: Visualize white light for protection.
Tip 1. Don’t take things personally.
Make it a given fact in your mind: that people aren’t negative, per se. Rather, people who are being negative are in a negative mood and will vent and say negative things. The negative mood has come from some painful situation in their life.
So it really isn’t you, it’s them! From now on keep that in mind.
As long as you remember this, then you’ll never take someone’s negativity personally again.
Tip 2. Don’t react negatively.
The first thing you must absolutely not do is react negatively in return. Don’t snap back. Don’t be insulting in return. Instead take a deep breath. And keep on breathing.
Be centered and present. Be compassionate.
Then follow this with one or more of the following…
Tip 3. Enlighten the situation.
A negative person is someone in a dark situation and bad mood in that moment. So shed some light on the situation. Share your positive energy with cheerful thoughts or lighten the situation up with a little humor.
If you’re a generally positive person or in a positive mood then it’s easier to respond to other’s negativity in a compassionate manner.
If your compassion meter is high (if you’re a positive person then it usually is) then ask the person how they’re doing. Chances are they might not be ready to come out of the negativity and may respond negatively again, but you won’t let that frustrate you because you’ve remembered to not take it personally. Ha!
No matter how brief this response might take place the other person may come away feeling better because there was a moment of caring.
Tip 4 Establish boundaries.
Establishing boundaries is going to be one of your best responses to negativity. It takes practice. Here are sample phrases that help you establish your personal boundaries:
“When we’re together I prefer that you don’t talk about that topic.”
“When we’re together please don’t joke with me in that way.”
“Do you realize that this is a draining conversation? Let’s find a solution.”
Or try these phrases from The Coach U Personal Development Workbook and Guide:
“That’s hurtful. Please stop.”
“Ouch. Please apologize!”
“You’re not being nice. I am nice to you and I want you to be nice to me.”
“What you said is inappropriate.”
“I am a very sensitive person, and I ask that you respect this about me and be careful what you say. I will do the same for you.”
“I’ve been doing some work on boundaries that will affect our relationship and I want to share with you what is okay and not okay to happen between us.”
“You know how you joke around about…? Well, I recently realized that it hurts me, and I ask you to respect this and to stop doing it. What you can do is…”
Always deliver your message with grace and compassion. Start practicing how you’re going to speak your boundary phrase to people when it’s called for. Maybe even stand in front of a mirror and try out these lines and adjust them to your own words.
Start being aware of the people who cause you to feel drained or stressed. Use different lines with different people and for various relationships. Adapt these lines to your situations, culture and language.
Keep on practicing and someday you’ll be able to deliver your boundary establishing statements with calm and ease.
Tip 5 Say a blessing or prayer.
When a miserable person says or does something in front of you or directs negativity at you then you can take a deep breath, not react and say quietly inside of your head:
“God bless this person. May he/she find a way out of her situation.”
“May God shed Light on this person and in this situation.”
“May this person’s guardian Angel/s be with him/her and heal him/her.”
Or do a light blessing… in your mind picture a ball of loving white light above both you and that person and picture loving light shining down gently on the negative person. Somehow this will help them. Something will may shift in their situation right then and there or maybe even later on when you might not be there. But your prayer and blessings will affect them in their own life path.
Tip 6 Avoid negative people.
You must try the above steps numerous times, most especially with loved-ones and close friends. Try all of the above tips before you get drastic and move on to Tip 6.
When none of the other steps above have helped you stay positive around chronically negative people then you have to decide if it’s worth the energy drain and stress on you to still interact with them or if you should start avoiding them and the negativity as much as you can.
When emotional, verbal and physical abuse are involved and the person has a toxic personality that affects you negatively and overpowers your positivity and emotional, mental and physical well-being then time to seriously consider bringing your relationship with that person to an end. If you want to stick it out with this person than I recommend counseling for you and those involved.
You CAN be in control of who you share your positive outlook with. You CAN choose and have people in your life who make you smile, support you and actually make you feel good about yourself.
Tip 7. Stay centered. Practice meditation.
How can one behave calmly like this? It’s when one is centered in the core of their being. It’s hard at first. But you can get good at doing this. In my own experience, yoga and meditation have helped me get better at staying centered and at not reacting negatively to others. The practice has actually decreased my own personal dramas. I’m not a saint by any means, I’m just getting better at this myself.
Again, in the beginning it might be hard to do this, but that’s okay. No need to guilt trip over that. Just keep on aiming for grace and compassion.
If you’re not already practicing meditation, make an attempt of starting a practice of sitting quietly and being present, even just 5 minutes in the morning everyday and in the evening. Try to avoid waking up and falling asleep to your phone, electronic gadgets, youtube and whatever social media out there.
Time to get centered, and that only comes from having quiet time and being present with you, the real you.
Don’t forget to smile and breath. Being a positive person in a positive mind state and mood is a way of being in a higher vibration and a way of letting the light of your soul, or Liwanag, radiate out of your being and into your everyday human existence.
And that’s how you can shine, sisters, even when negative person come your way. Shine, Pinay. Shine.
Additional resources: A Simple 5-minute Exercise for Letting Go of Negativity.
Special Bonus Tip 8. Visualize white light for protection.
Omehra is also known as Inday Perla, Perla Daly, BagongPinay and NewFilipina.
She has been publishing websites to empower Filipinos for 20 years. More about her art, blogs, events, publishing and organizations at BagongPinay.