goddess_sistar, Author at Pinay.com
Writing piece by: Athena Arcayan Photo Credit: Marc Timmons aka Crazy
Will you run? Will you stand with open arms to receive? Will it be a burden you carry and then reject or will you see it as a Gift?
Who says salad can’t be sexy? Serio. Thanks to @marymary573 for the yummylicious cilantro dressing and cashew cheeze. If you’re wondering what else is stacked in that goodness pile: romaine lettuce, spinach, flax meal, hemp seeds, colored cabbage mix, sautéed corn w/ Basil, nooch & h.salt. Bon Appetit!
#messagetomysister #messagetoallmysistars #goddess #circleofsistars #youinspireme #singanddrumyourtruth
I finally have a moment to catch my breath. I was watching the shadows and light dance as I set my coffee cup down.
Here at the beach house, the black dress I’m wearing is camouflaging me as I sit typing on my friends’ black couch. In one week, I became unemployed, displaced and had to evacuate. Then, I slept somewhat in my car with the Stars to keep me company. Dear friends offered their homes as I tried to hold it all together with my usual brave front.
This morning, it just hit me. ALL of it. My own emotions and thoughts and questions and doubts. As I scrolled through my news feed, posts from other displaced friends sharing their own stories…it just fuckin’ hit me and the tears I was doing my best to hold back came flooding down my cheeks.
The sky here is a mix of grey with hints of blue. The Sun rose this morning. The Wind carries a song only a rare few can hear. The Sea continues to kiss the shore again and again.
Please do not mistake my tears for weakness. They carry my sadness and frustration, my joy and gratitude, my story of honesty and recovery. They represent all that I cannot say with words and I was finally in a safe enough place to let them flow.
I don’t know what the future holds for me, for You, for our Community. I know that we can choose to Create it. Whatever we envision, we can Dream It Into BEing.
It’s been a tumultuous ride for me…from shock, fear, sadness, reflection. To gratitude.
Now? I’m feeling antsy. I want to go Home. I also want to hide under the covers and not Adult, but that’s the opposite of being productive…and I need to Channel this energy into creating…something!
My heart goes out to the many friends that have lost their homes. I know some are gathering this weekend to be together, play music and to just be there for one another.
I still need some more alone time. I need to write, heal, cry, laugh and create.
I’m with you all in Spirit. Loving you All always.
That’s all for now. Will update more soon.
When I was a kid, we didn’t have a whole lot of $. We made do on government food and a military budget shopping excursion at the Commissary. I grew up on junk food (kool-aid, chicken nuggets, Hamburger Helper and PB&J's) and I’m grateful I’m eating a lot healthier as an adult today.
I was craving comfort food on this cold California night and I loved this one particular Hamburger Helper dish that was pasta, cheese, marinara sauce & (gasp!) ground beef (before my non meat eating days). I decided to make a vegan, gluten free version. Here's the recipe:
1-2 tbl spoons of Earth Balance vegan butter (I use the soy free one)
1 Better Than Meat pattie
1 box of Daiya cheddar mac n cheese
1-2 cups of marinara sauce
1/4 cup of nooch = nutritional yeast
Himalayan salt to taste
good music to dance to while cooking!
In medium pot, fill 3/4 with water and heat on high until boiling. Place pasta in water and stir occasionally until al denta (about 5-min). Rinse with cold water and set aside. In medium size sauce pan, saute butter on medium heat. Place BTM pattie in the middle and after a minute or two, separate pattie with fork and spread out. Cook for about 5 min. On low heat, add pasta, cheeze and marinara sauce. Mix well. Don't forget to do some dance moves! Lastly, add nooch and H salt.
Suffice it to say...it was Delish!! Memories of my childhood rushed forth and my heart (and belly) were so warm and fuzzy. Bon Appetit!
Studio 78 @ Bell Arts
432 Ventura Ave, Ventura Ca
The Intention of each Song Circle is to create a Sacred Space where it's safe to express one's voice. We utilise Song as a medium to release what no longer serves us and to open channels for healing and creative expression. The indigenous songs themselves (some that are sung in Ceremonies) call on ancestral wisdom and ancient healing. Sitting in Circle and a way of Counsel links us back to a time when tribes would sit around fires and share their stories. There is no hierarchy.
Musical instruments, especially the Drum, represents not only one's heart beat but Mother Earth and the Community. We sit around a drum, unifying with each drum beat as our voices collectively gather in every song.
We gather to Sing, to Share, to Connect and to Heal in a Sacred Ceremonial Space.
All are welcome especially children. Please bring a drum/musical instrument and an open heart. This event is free but donations are welcome to cover Studio costs. Please PM if you have any questions.
I mourn the buried treasure that now needs to be excavated and released.
Now in this very moment I turn towards the Grace and the Stars. Even hidden in the tears are sparkles of Light. Tucked away in the Darkness awaits the birth of a whole new world...
I'm sure it may have seem odd to some. A lone woman, standing in the middle of the street and gazing up into the night sky. Her eyes and face mirroring love and awe.
In many myths, the Moon is female and the Sun is male. In one of my stories, it is the reverse. A Love Story for another time.
My thoughts stray to my Family. Not the one I was born into but the one I chose. My True Kapwa.
I reflected on our Ceremonies, how much I love it and how much the Community means to me. In words I simply cannot convey. It is the most precious time where we collectively gather and open our hearts to the mysteries of this Earth, and where our Spirits dance in and out of our dreams. It is a time where our hearts beat as one and our voices carry each other right alongside the Wind. It's where we share our secrets and stories by the fire. It is in this Sacred Safe Space where Love does not need a Voice, it is felt instantaneously like how one draws in breath or how a Mother wraps her arms around her children in comfort.
It is when we step out of Ceremony and rejoin the 'outside' world, where I try to reach with invisible hands ways to remind me of this 'ceremonious connection'. I dial numbers, I use my fingertips to spell out words... I reach out to those that were there so I can re-remember that it was real and that it DID happen... And how can I feebly attempt to feel that way again?
Connected. Loved. Seen. Heard. Validated. Embraced. Acknowledged.
That's my process of how I try to integrate the experience while still feeling Connected. The challenging dance of needing solitude for decompression and still feeling a part of the Circle created by the Ceremony.
I've also come to realize the magic of my Ancestors. Understanding how, who and what WE are. Connecting, networking, revealers of Love and Grace.
This magic runs in our blood. It is seen in tiny glimpses when our eyes twinkle.
And when I close my eyes tonight, it is always my wish to dream and adventure within all the realms hoping to meet some familiar Spirits along the Way.
Yesterday morning we stood in a Circle and shared our Intentions before entering the Lodge. We took the time to acknowledge our Ancestors and noted the Auspiciousness of the day. A time where the veils between the worlds were the thinnest. A chance to honor those that have passed on, where legend says the dearly departed have this one window in to visit with the living.
I talked of how I defined Family. The Blood ties of our Ancestors and the family we are born into but also the bonds created from Spirit and Ceremony, forever linking us throughout the different dimensions. And, the ring extends out even further for me...the wonderful threads created at work and throughout my travels...
A beautiful blanket that weaves all of our stories, silence, tears, laughter, mistakes, lessons, sorrows, joys, wishes, prayers, dreams, fears Together... where the memories help to keep our hearts and souls warm on nights when it's cold and daunting.
Truly, A United Nations Kapwa where we are linked to one another across the various worlds.
My Gratitude knows no bounds.
Your Gifted Presence
inspires me each and every day.
(And sometimes, it's what gets me through the challenging times)
I love you...
We Live Within the Mystery and bathe in Shadow and Light from the Heavenly Skies..
Tonight, in the silence of this hour, whilst I battle this insomnia I begin to question Everything. Doubt seeps in, crawling close as it often does. It is in moments like these, I think of our last Lodge...
As I lay there in the dirt, the heat covering me like a blanket, I wrestle with what brought me there. The struggles, the hurts, the patterns I'd like to break free from.
The Blackness Within merges with the darkness inside the Lodge and I find it challenging to breathe. My chest is heavy and I think, "Am I going to make it through this?" A question often asked inside and outside the Lodge.
Then, a Sister begins her song and everything is different. Our voices reach out and connect together like the branches of our Lodge. We sit together in this Circle, sharing from the Heart and become the Voice of many.
Even now, I can still hear the songs we sang that day. Sleep may not come but my Sisters are always with me and for that, I am forever grateful.
Msg Begins Here:
I know you are Sad right now and think you need to have it All figured out. Sometimes we are so much in our Head that we forget where we really need to be. Sorrow much like joy can be a platform for inspiration. Create with it. Create FROM it but do not dwell on it nor allow it to stay too long inside. Sadness like fear and anger Consumes. Only Love relinquishes you and sets you truly Free. Only Love not only guides but supports and nourishes You in ways nothing else can. It is from a place of Love, not Sorrow, where we can know Our Grace. Our True Self. Our Heart Home.
I know better now.
It is the lessons of this pain and Shadow that I have come to embrace my TrueSelf. It is through this acknowledgement and Full Acceptance of Who I Am and All That IS, I came to a plateau of Understanding and Peace.
Dancing on the Earth.
Listening to the Wind.
Becoming with the Ocean.
Sometimes we love with our hands.
Sometimes we love through our Art.
And most of the time,
we love with our entire BEing
and our heARTs are SOOO Big
that when we love...
we're scared that we may literally love you to death
or maybe we're scared that you won't love us the way we love you.
A broken hearted Leo is a sorry sight to see. What's worse? A Leo too scared to love again because of being hurt and we Leos hurt, you know. We don't show it because we're proud but that layer just outside of our hearts is really soft. It's why we get so defensive sometimes. There's this illusion of protection but, truly, our way of loving is often like a child's at first...open, innocent, unconditional...it's when the past creeps up and old wounds get exposed and the fears just barely held at bay start to whisper...crawling to the surface where those Leos that have been hurt before (too many to count) go into fight or flight mode and close ranks...especially around the heart. Arms once open become closed and wary. Eyes once filled with Hope become suspicious and fearful. The gentle purring becomes a Loud Rooooaaaarrrr and we're left wondering, Leos and Lovers alike, on what to do next.
The reassurance comes forth in the silky folds of a Voice filled with Wisdom and Truth...
Be Honest. Be Gentle. Be Kind. Be Forgiving. Be Loving.
Consider giving a Second Chance maybe a Third.
Channel and transmute the energy towards loving each other with respect, honor and kindness.
Communicate and share deeply.
Walk hand in hand together.
Accept and Love One Another Unconditionally.
Appreciate the tiny gestures as well as the grand.